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Couples

Alexander Milov

At The Roots

We all want to be seen, heard and gotten, especially by the ones we love the most. Whether we fight over the small things, or one of the big five—sex, money, work, kids or the mess—if we become stuck, entangled or estranged from our partner, it impacts our whole quality of life.
As relationship expert Sue Johnson says, what drives the distress in most fights really boils down to a few unconscious questions like: Do you love me? Do I matter to you? If I hurt, do you care? Am I good enough for you? Am I trusted? Can I depend on you?
Re/wiring
By understanding the underlying mechanics of human bonding and how our wiring shapes the way we each attend to that bonding, we create the possibility for growth. Literally. Brains are plastic. What a relief to realize that we are not doomed, that our ongoing pain often arises out of a long lineage of unintended faulty wiring— that we have the power to change.
 
In our time together, I will help you slow down and develop a new awareness of these mechanics, moment by moment. As you learn new ways of thinking, feeling and being, you will start to rewire yourselves and each other—and together create a new way of relating that encourages more safety, trust and freedom.
 
 

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